not limited or partial : entire, unqualified . 2. : not cautious or reticent : frank, open. 3. : not set aside for special use.
I have had a lot of thoughts jostling in my head like caged animals lately and didn’t get the chance to let them out until now.
First, I have been thinking about the word unreserved and how it seems to describe Mike to me in a lot of ways. I looked up the definition to be sure it really did pertain to him. And it certainly does in ways I might be quick to judge negatively and am learning to discover as strengths as well. Mike has always been a devoted worker, a motivating boss and pretty intentional about his home projects as well. He has seemed unreserved in the way he tackles all of these areas head-on without much break. Sometimes, as an employee of his I wished he would be a bit more reserved in what he expected of me as maybe my coworkers felt as well. At home, I wished he would maybe wait until we really had enough time to fully devote to a project before ripping out a wall. But you couldn’t really hold Mike back. He was… unreserved.
Mike is still pretty unreserved in some ways. Over these years since his brain bleed he has been unreserved in his conversations with others. Sometimes that has taken the form of a prying kind of interest in your sin life, a counselor’s stance on your life choices, or the Holy Spirit’s urging of conviction for your spiritual goals. Not that this can’t be helpful to some, but I was not a fan even on the sidelines of how little Mike was willing to reserve in these conversations with others. But I couldn’t really hold Mike back.
The other area Mike’s unreserved nature shines is in his prayer life. You have not seen Mike if you have not prayed with him for his total, unreserved healing. He would never let you escape even with your commitment to pray for him daily for the rest of your life. He demands you pray with him right then and there for all he is asking of God–his total miraculous, restorative healing. Sometimes this bothers me too. It feels like he should have some reserve.
Personally, I kind of like reservations. Who wants to wait around hungry for seats in a restaurant? I plan things reservedly. I don’t make promises I am not sure I can keep. I don’t tell my kids our plans until they are truly in motion. I avoid disappointment by not counting on things too early. It is a protective habit. I feel safer that way. But this man I married flouts all that. He lives like he knows what is coming.
Now, before you give him too much credit, know that I am usually right more often than him. The benefit of not saying something is happening before it does is you get close to 100% accuracy. But for whatever reason lately I am sensing a benefit to Mike’s abandon.
Here is my sense from God, I think. Mike doesn’t concern himself with being right. So he is wrong a lot. But he doesn’t concern himself with that either, really. When he makes a prediction that he will be healed in 5 days (and we have gone through that countless times over the years) he doesn’t revisit that mistake. If pushed then he might acknowledge that he must have misunderstood God. So what DOES Mike concern himself with? Unreserved prayer. Unreserved faith. He honestly abandons any misgivings and puts all his hopes and desires and belief in the sovereignty and compassion of our Savior, Jesus Christ. And whether his timeframe is off or not, there is something pretty beautiful about the way Mike has spent a lifetime practicing his unreservedness before God.
It is something that has even begun to tempt me.
May you get a glimpse of Mike’s view of God– his shameless, amplified, bold view of the One who holds Mike and me, and you, in his hands.
One little extra tangent… Mike’s 40 days of birthday visitors has been an unreserved success! It has been such a delight to him to reconnect with old friends and Young Life club kids from Ohio and Illinois, to be surprised by the mystery guest of the day, to joke, to reminisce, to pray and mutually encourage. It has been his favorite gift of a lifetime. Thanks to all of you who slotted yourselves into the schedule to make it work and don’t feel confined to this finite event as a means for a visit. If you weren’t able to maneuver a day within the month, then plot another time to connect with Mike by Skype or phone or even in person. He will probably be going through withdrawal as soon as our schedule ends its course and you could be the one that delights his day. And if this broke the ice with you then certainly visit again! Either way, thank you for the care and joy you share with our family! It has been an unreserved blessing!
AND I should probably be setting this into a separate post but I am no professional at this so I will tack it on here. We have been utterly STUNNED at how God has used so many to fund our caregiver goal for covering the next 2 years. (If this is new to you, the January 2012 video on the right of the homepage can explain more).
Over $47,000 thus far has come in. In addition, Mike and I were able to consolidate some existing family funds into the trust which turned out to be about $15,000. All in all, the medical trust is now at $62,000! This provides a sizeable window to think through the next stage of Mike’s recovery. Thank you all so very much for your concern and generosity.
If you have not given and would still like to, please know that it is still important and helpful. If the 2 years of care can be stretched to 3, it simply adds time to plan and for Mike to recover before additional decisions are needed.
To give to the trust, make checks payable to “Trustee of Zegarski Gift Trust” and send to Dan Zegarski; 7522 Wetherfield Dr; Maineville, OH 45039.
THANK YOU! THANK GOD!
Entry filed under: updates.