10/21/08

i think i am adjusting my sense of guilt to only accelerate at the month mark of skipping out on updates.  the truth is it is hard to know what to discuss.  lots of days slide by ok and the ones that don’t aren’t as monumental in their aggravation.  they are now simply normal aggravation that doesn’t put you in the mood to discuss.  mike often wakes up with a new ailment that i have a hard time fully buying into.  it is so hard for me to trust his judgement because he seems like he is not always weighing the big picture.  one day he will feel bloated or full in his belly so he asks me to stop feeding him.  i overreact because it seems like a rdiculous demand since food is one of those necessities in life.  so we aggravate each other to no bound.  he is frustrated by his powerlessness, i am overwhelmed by his very singular focus.  the remedies of doctors don’t often leave mike satisfied either by their limited response or their slowness.  so while mike has been steady and stable he is far from satisfied.  we would love prayer for clearer eyesight (eye muscles seem stronger but still blurry–checkup scheduled), digestion issues/stomach discomfort (still on a feeding tube), left hand cramping (cannot open fist), temperature fluctuations (cold, hot, cold…) and asundry other aches and pains that bother him for a day and get eclipsed by a new complaint the next.  pray for my sympathy to kick in because i am a hard caregiver the more worn i get from too may needs.  pray for our wisdom with how to handle finances while still remaining qualified for aid for our caregiver, don.  praise God, please, for the quality of our friendships which he has been so generous with.  thanks to many, far and wide, who support us with gifts, food, listening, patience, sitting, invitations and flexibilty– manna in so many ways.  i pray i have no prayer need so great it requires me writing in less than a month!  thanks for your patience i lack!  oh, and mike’s general prayer, always, is less for details and always for a whole healing.  he waits expectantly.