Archive for November 22, 2007

11/21/07 11:45 pm

so mike and i went in for a routine CT scan today as a 6 month followup to having his skull plate put back in in April. i was teasing him that i was hungry and tired and he was depriving me of my necessities with this appointment. then while we were preparing to transfer him from his chair to the CT bed he started a seizure. we instead took him into the ER where they tried to stop the seizure which kind of endured off and on for a long time. the medicine seemed to work for a short time and then he would continue. his previous seizures last year and last march were never very long. this was a bit more remarkable. they checked some preliminary possible problems with his head shunt but ruled that out as a source of the seizures. they did get him relaxed and calm (and drugged) and he was admitted into the ICU for the next few days as they monitor and assess what went wrong. at this point we are looking at the various medications he is on and how they might be changed and adjusted. i am always torn in half. I am so relieved by nurses who go above and beyond and familiar, caring doctors who take us under their wings-again. and i am so annoyed by my familiarity with these faces and these hallways and this process. i hate that this familiarity has become comforting. no one should have spent enough time on that path from the ER to the ICU to have developed any fondness. i am also convicted that i have become used to michael being healthy. that i have taken his stability for granted. that i have not been so achingly grateful for his mild limitations for a while compared to the serious setbacks we have weathered before. i joked with him, not that he will remember (all sicknesses wipe his memory clean again), that he seems to have this passive aggressive avoidance of all holidays. He headed to the hospital originally for his birthday, then thanksgiving, then christmas eve, then he was home at easter i believe. but he headed back to the hospital to skip his birthday party and now again he has gotten out of thanksgiving. it makes me nervous about christmas.
i don’t even know what to pray for exactly… a right diagnosis? an inexplicable fluke? 2 different verses came to mind during the long seizure time. i shared with him that 1 corinthians verse reminding us that we are not our own but that we have been bought at a price. i am reminded that within the frustration of being trapped in a body that will not make sense or calm down or act logically, God still has charge. it is not our body truly and so it makes sense that it does not obey. but michael’s body belongs to God and he will make whatever sense with it that he desires. we need not try to grasp control away from the only One who can appropriately handle it. and secondly, i shared with him as he endured, unable to speak, the Romans verse which tells us that the spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. it was ok that michael couldn’t talk or voice his own needs or prayers. the spirit was most certainly appealing to the Father on mike’s behalf with no need of his help.
so happy thanksgiving, wherever you are and get to be. don’t gloss over the treasures that really hold value beyond our imagining. it is far from a childish answer to be thankful for health, for ability, for opportunity, for company, for grace. one last highlight–our neurosurgeon came to check on mike and was asking how things had been going and was utterly surprised that mike has been doing so well, even able to praticipate with his family. he shared that he had never thought he would get this far. it is always enlightening to hear an educated opinion of amazement. God’s coming through, you know. everyday, at home or hospitals.
joy, michelle

November 22, 2007 at 1:10 am 7 comments


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