7/20/06 12:40 am

July 20, 2006 at 1:05 am 26 comments

the tracheotomy did go well.  i spoke to mike’s neurologist today and again questioned whether they were worried about his slow wakeup pace.  he said that while he wishes it was going faster it is still reasonable for it to take this long since mike sustained such a severe infection.  the gist of the conversation was he cannot guarantee that everything is fine but he is still reserving the right to count on that at this point.  i have more than enough to be thankful for but i am certainly living on the edge of frustration and disappointment.  visits are discouraging.  yet…i meet new nurses and doctors and continue to be impressed and grateful by so many “strangers” that pray and care for him.  and i almost cry if i stop too long and think of those who have gone above and beyond  in that role already (good to hear from you, laura, and how did the game end up, ICU ladies?).  it is almost impossible for me to remember what day of the week it is and i start to feel fed up and pitiful.  will the waiting ever end?  yet…others’ faithfulness spurs on my own–faithful friends (even when they find my door locked), faithful meals, faithful prayer.  i fed mckaela dinner at 9:15 tonight because my schedule gets out of control though i should be used to daily hospital visits by now.  i cancel plans and miss appointments.  and yet… each day includes the easygoing laughter of these hilarious, forgiving, life-loving kids i have.  i wonder how this could work for good, this lengthy infection hurdle, this sleepy state, this thing overall.  and yet…

Psalm 42:11
    Why are you downcast, O my soul?  Why so disturbed within me?
    Put your hope in God, for I will YET praise him, my Savior and my God.

please do pray for mike’s wakeup and responsiveness.  (minor things to pray about too–his lips got mangled by the bite block that he needed to keep him from crushing the breathing tube and his feet are starting to turn in toward each other despite an effort to stick pillows between and try to straighten them. these are minor compared to becoming alert but i figure if you are already praying–throw in some extras!)

thanks, michelle

Entry filed under: updates.

7/19/06 Please Continue to Pray Earnestly 7/23/06 11:00 pm

26 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Juan  |  July 20, 2006 at 2:37 am

    Michelle, my name is Juan I am 21 years of age and I work with Dan/Beth Cribble. Beth has been keeping me and others up to date about Mike. I was praying for MIke when he was in acoma, and when I heard what the Lord had done it brought Joy to my heart because I learn in my Christian life that if you pray God does listen. So lets keep praying. I dont know Mike, but it does not matter because as a brother I am with you guys. Tell mike sometihng for me that I wish I could tell him ”spread your wings” the Lord has thought me that life gets hard, but we have to keep spreding our wings because we are already the victors. God Bless Juan In Christ

    Reply
  • 2. Carolynn  |  July 20, 2006 at 7:21 am

    Michelle-
    “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you willl find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
    Matt 11:28-30

    I know not the meaning of your burden or how Romans 8:28 can be applied but I will continue to pray for you and for your ability to love your Lord with all your strength, mind, and soul. I do know that you and Mike and your story continue to buoy and inspire so many– your faith does not grow weak even though your legs and heart may–Keep the faith and may you find renewed strength today.

    “Be Still—And Know that I am God.” Ps 46:10

    Reply
  • 3. Heather  |  July 20, 2006 at 10:00 am

    Michelle,

    God Bless you. Thank you for being so honest about how you are feeling. I cannot imagine what you go through on a daily basis.

    “The Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love.
    The Lord is good to all;
    he has compassion on all he has made.
    All you have made will prayise you, O Lord;
    your saints will extol you.
    The will tell of the glory of your kingdom and specak of your might, so that all men may know of your kindom.
    Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
    and your dominion endures through all generations.
    The Lord is faithful to all of his promises and loving toward all he has made.
    The Lord uphold all those who fall and lifts up all who are bowed down.
    The eyes of all look to you, and you give them their food at the proper time.
    You open your hand and satisfy the desires of everyone living thing.
    The Lord is righteous in all his ways and loving toward all he has made.
    The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth.
    He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him, but all the wicked he will destroy.
    My mouth will speak in praise of the LOrd. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever.”

    Psalm 145:8-21
    While we do not understand the human brain or body (thank goodness) He does. He knows every inch of Mike and is taking care of him even though at times it may seem doubtful. Fall into His arms Michelle and let Him care for you. Let us care for you. We are here for you. Do not be afraid to ask for help. We love you!

    Love and continued prayers,
    Heather

    Reply
  • 4. katie albaugh  |  July 20, 2006 at 12:11 pm

    Michelle, we continue to pray with you…thanks for keeping the details in front of us. God is teaching me through you and Mike…and through his Word about faith and keeping it….can only be through knowing Him and his perspective (Heb. 11)….”and they admitted that they were aliens and strangers on earth…People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own…instead, they were longing for a better country–a heavenly one.. therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them….”
    with love,
    Katie and Dick

    Reply
  • 5. mom  |  July 20, 2006 at 12:26 pm

    michelle,

    you are an absolute inspiration to our entire family. we love you so very much. your faith envelopes me as i am confident our prayers are being heard and will be answered by the Christ we all are placing our trust in. He will not fail us….for He did promise “whatever you ask of the Father in My name will be given unto you”. This sustains me daily over and over again. Kiss M&M&E for me. I will see you soon, love, mom z.

    To all of you who are praying for Mike and Michelle, our gratitude is immeasurable. Please continue to pray for Mike to become more alert, strong, and free from infections. Mike needs you…We need you.

    We will be praying for all of you. Mike’s mom.

    Because i wanted all of you prayer warriors to see this posting, i repeated it from last night (posted late). JillZ

    Reply
  • 6. Barb Dawes  |  July 20, 2006 at 3:54 pm

    When life seems crazy and a little overwhelming, reading these updates on Mike’s continued struggles to full recovery, it puts everything in perspective. I am so grateful that we have a loving God who will indeed respond to our earnest prayers in His perfect timing. In the mean time, we all learn more about patience and persistence! Sending much love your way MIchelle and to those two beautiful kids! Barb

    Reply
  • 7. Justin  |  July 20, 2006 at 4:00 pm

    MIchelle

    Your words continue to inspire my prayers. I love reading your words and knowing things that we can lift up to our God. Thanks for your perseverance and strength the last few months, it has constantly amazed me. See you soon!

    Reply
  • 8. Sharon Bollinger  |  July 20, 2006 at 5:25 pm

    Dear Michelle,

    We returned Sunday from being away for two weeks and wanted you to know we are physically back to being available for ANYTHING you need, babysitting, a hug, a mutual prayer sent to our heavenly Father, housework, errands run, groceries brought in, whatever!!!! Our thoughts and prayers were never far from you and Mike and the little ones while away which I know is the best thing we can keep doing for you all. We are truly saddened that Mike has been through so much again, but we have to trust in the Lord. Nothing passes through to us that didn’t first pass through Him. He knows all and is in control of all, and that in itself is a comfort. God’s grace and faithfulness, as well as strength and His hope abound in you. Praise God. May He continue to carry both youand Mike across the beach as He leaves His footprints in the sand.
    Love and prayers for God’s perfect will, for healing that only He can do, for peace, grace, strength, His perfection done through caregiver’s hands, and the continued abiltiy for you to absorb those giggles and life-loving joy bringers in McKaela and Eli.

    Sharon

    Reply
  • 9. Matt D.  |  July 20, 2006 at 5:41 pm

    Michelle,

    Thank you for your faithfulness and continued inspiration to all of us. As I sit grumbling in the Portland airport, delayed 4 hours, I had time to check your updates. I am embarrassed at my thinking I am “inconvenienced” when in fact I have had an opportunity to read the struggles of my brother and sister in Christ and lift your family up in prayer. We prayerfully await the day when this is behind us and we celebrate God’s faithfulness knowing his timing is perfect in this situation.

    Psalm 46:10 – Be still and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.

    Reply
  • 10. matt and eli  |  July 20, 2006 at 9:37 pm

    We continue to think of you all often, your words encourage us and are life giving in the midst of troubled times. Your whole family, as well as all who have been so faithfully involved during this time, are an inspiration to Eli and I. Thank you for who you are, and the quiet strength that God shows through you and Mike during this time. Thank you for sharing with us the ups and the downs, and the day by day thoughts and prayers. They are a testimonial to who God has molded you all into. We pray for perseverance for the Zegarski’s. But know that through it all you are actually influencing so many people through your unbelievable faith. We love you guys.

    Matt and Eli Margaron

    Reply
  • 11. Karin Rodriguez  |  July 21, 2006 at 8:26 am

    Michelle,
    Thank you for your pure honesty! I can’t imagine all the emotions you are going through. You truly are a strong amazing woman and you make me realize how littlle I trust God and how much I do not let his spirit truly reside in me. Thank you for helping me realize this and for being an inspiration to me. Give Mike and the kids a hug for me and as always please call if you need us to take the kids.

    love, Karin

    “In peace I will lie down and sleep, for you alone, O Lord, will keep me safe.” Pslam 4:8

    Reply
  • 12. Michael & Beth Ann Hunter  |  July 21, 2006 at 9:07 am

    Hey there Michelle, just wanted you to remember we are still praying for you and the kids. I’m sure this must be a very discouraging time for you, especially as it must feel as if he has taken so many steps backwards. We are praying you will be sustained and given extra patience, courage, peace, contentment and laughter during this difficult time, where you must feel so despondant. I”m thankful for your honesty though in how you are feeling as it gives me more perspective on how to pray>

    in Christ

    Reply
  • 13. Bessma Shammas  |  July 21, 2006 at 10:18 am

    Michelle,

    Thank you for the example you are showing all of us of what it is like to live by faith even though the road to complete healing and recovery has been filled with setbacks. I will continue to pray. Thank you for the specific requests.

    Do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to presevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36

    Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, for evidence of things not seen. Hebrews 11:1

    Reply
  • 14. Unkown  |  July 21, 2006 at 12:11 pm

    Michelle,
    You and your family will be in my prayers.
    -Sgt-

    Reply
  • 15. Kurt Federschmidt  |  July 21, 2006 at 12:30 pm

    Michelle, as we continue to prayerfully follow the updates that you so faithfully provide , I continue to be blessed with the grace and honesty you share with us. I was reminded of a section of Rick Warren’s book(The Purpose Driven Life) in which he speaks of the believers obligation to accept in faith and trust the trials and suffering that we encounter as we pass through this vail of tears we call our earthly life. you have shown us in real life what it means to live the life of faith. God knows you weariness and discouragement and understands it better than anyone else, for he was “a Man of sorrows” in his earthly life. What a friend we have in Jesus, the lover of our souls , as we continue down the path he has chosen for us. we continue to pray for you all. In HIS Love and Grace, Kurt, Patrice, Karla, Michelle, Erika, and Kelly.

    Reply
  • 16. Matt Koupal  |  July 21, 2006 at 1:51 pm

    We love you, we love you, we love you!!!!!!!

    Reply
  • 17. Emily Bishop  |  July 21, 2006 at 3:29 pm

    Michelle,

    I am thankful that you are so open about where you are….We know what to pray for you as you struggle with Mike’s current state. I will never know the depth of the pain you are suffering – I just pray that God holds you tighter and tigher as you fight alongside your beloved husband. God knew from the beginning of time that you would love Mike this deeply….you show us all the true covenant and committment of the marriage vows. Please find time to replenish yourself.

    Love to you.

    Emily

    Reply
  • 18. j zegarski  |  July 22, 2006 at 3:03 pm

    This morning a close friend of ours called. when Mike and his brothers were young, Rosie watched them several times so that Mike’s dad and i could get away for a bit of relaxation.

    Anyway, she relayed to me two mirracles which she was aware of this week. Her cousin was moving into a new home and in a fun loving mood, he dove into a pool and hit his head. he came out of the pool and began walking around insisting he was fine. but he seemed a bit dizzy. he was taken to the hospital and it was discovered he had severed two vertibrae in his spine which should have rendered him paralized. the surgeons were not able to explain why he was able to move at all.

    A prayer chain was set up immediately for prayer to be said at precisely 7 oclock. Rose’s cousin did have surgery and after some therapy will be perfectly fine.

    Earlier this week, one of the moms Rose knows took her 4 children to the swimming pool. The mom told the oldest child (age 12) to watch the 2 year old while she went to the ladies room. when she returned she asked where the baby was. the 12 year old said he was at the bottom of the pool but no one would help him. the mom screemed and a fireman came to her assistance along with the life squad. a pediatrician heard her screem and rushed to the child who was not responding to CPR. the doctor had the two year old rushed to the hospital. the child is walking around and perfectly fine.

    Rose feels very connected to Mike and his brothers and believes that God is in a miracle mode. so if you are reading this website, we are requesting you to pray for Mike at precisely 7 p.m. every evening (in addition to your preferred prayer time). We will flood Heaven with prayer for Mike and Michelle…..the most powerful gift of all.

    We are so grateful to all of you, Mike’s mom

    Reply
  • 19. Lisa Ratchford  |  July 22, 2006 at 6:05 pm

    Ahhh . . . Mike’s mom, how beautiful your sharing is of these miracles! God’s love is a miracle, and the love shared in all of these messages over all the days of Mike and Michelle’s struggles just shines His radiance for all the world to see and know. I will definitely be praying at 7:00 for God to bring blessings of responsiveness, healing, and joy for MIke. Grace and love~ Lisa

    Reply
  • 20. Janice Rubin  |  July 23, 2006 at 12:21 am

    Count me in on the 7pm prayers!
    I can only imagine the joy God will experience when prayers from all over the world ring out at the same time on Mike’s behalf. I know I will feel a connection with fellow followers of Christ.

    Reply
  • 21. Kim Johnson  |  July 23, 2006 at 9:42 am

    We will also be praying at the 7 pm time for Mike! The thought of so many prayers coming your way, Lord, in Mike’s behalf! Thank you so much, Michelle, for keeping so many of us posted on Mike’s condition and your specific need for prayer. This website does work wonders. We will continue to pray for you all!
    Love,
    Kim

    Reply
  • 22. Mary Stadler  |  July 23, 2006 at 11:12 am

    Dear Michelle,

    I work in the Hinsdale YL office and I read with interest all that you say and the mom in me (you need only ask my kids how “mom” I am) was a little concerned that might be carrying the additional burdeon of feeling a need to keep us all from getting discouraged or disheartened. I wondered if you were not allowing yourself, or feeling like you were some what unfaithful , if you allowed yourself to be discourage, disheartened and maybe even angry at all that has gone on in your family’s life.

    In your recent note I felt a slight sense that you were allowing yourself to feel some of these emotions and I was glad. You are experiencing a real nightmare. We all know it and God knows it. He also knows, as do all of us, that you are human and He will expect you to feel a bit angry and discouraged at the slow pace in making everything “right” again for your family.

    Please allow yourself these feelings. Allow yourself to mourn over all that is going on in your life and allow yourself a little self pity. You and your family hare going through a lot right now. We all understand that and naturally God does too. You need to have crummy days or you will be unable to cope.

    My husband’s father died of cancer and he was suffering a lot . My husband was in college at the time and he said one night he went to the Newman chapel in the middle of the night and started yelling at God. He said it was a really shout out. He said he got some peace after that and he knew God wa a good friend who allowed him to be angry with Him for awhile because He understood the anger.

    I don’t know if you have gotten to that point or if you ever will get to that point, but know that it is OK if you do. We all understand and continue to pray for you, Mike, the kids and the grandparents involved. Let us not ever forget them. How awful to have to watch your children suffering through something like this.

    Take care of yourself so you can stay healthy and be there for your family. Sometimes the best thing you can do for Mike and your family is take care of yourself. You are all in my prayers.

    Mary

    Mary (the mom)

    Reply
  • 23. julie grimley  |  July 23, 2006 at 3:14 pm

    I continue to be amazed at the depth and honesty of your faith. I also continue to be humbled by the grace and strength of our God. I think so often of the gifts God bestowed upon you and Mike and how you so joyfully have given. My family and I are so grateful for both of you. And to find the gift in Mike’s condition now is near impossible for me and many others…..but this is why God wants our dependence on Him, every day, every minute, in every circumstance. Each day Michelle continue to go to Him for what you need, He’s there waiting…..

    julie

    Reply
  • 24. Connie Bultema  |  July 23, 2006 at 4:13 pm

    Thank you, Mary, the mom, for your words of wisdom. It is true that God can handle all of our honest feelings. He is also well aware of them. So, there is no sense in trying to hide them from Him. In fact, I’m sure He dellights in a personal relationship that always chooses honest communication over pretense or hypocrisy.

    What is happening in the Zegarski family is truly a nightmare. It is frustrating and hard to understand why God would allow it to go on so long. Michelle certainly experiences her up and down days. However, the strength, courage, and faith which Michelle gives evidence of on a daily basis is real. God is carrying her through this. HE has provided and continues to provide GRACE for the moment and MIchelle has been wise enough and practiced enough at accepting it. May HE be glorified by it!

    When we see the suffering of others we often wonder how they can endure and remain “faith-filled”. In one of Corrie TenBoom’s books about her experiences during W.W.II she quotes her father as telling her, “You don’t get the ticket until you get on the train.” Michelle has received the ” ticket” from her Heavenly Father. None of us has received her “ticket” because none of us has been called to ride her “train”. However, we can be certain that we have or will receive whatever ticket is required for whatever “train” we are or will be called to ride.

    Some of those “grace tickets” are in the form of your comments, encouraging words and prayers, and creative and untiring service to her. They allow her to stay focused on God’s promises, and on Mike, McKaela, and Eli. She truly has an “attitude of gratitude”. Know that you are all being used mightily by God to help HIm to carry her through this part of her life journey. Thank you. You are appreciated!

    Thank you also, Mary, for understanding my mother’s heart that suffers with my daughter at this time. But also rejoice with me at what an inspiration she is and what a testimony to God’s love and provision for her. Most of all, continue to be used by God to uphold them all in prayer, to beseech God to work a mighty miracle, and to restore them and renew them as a family.

    May we continue to experience unity in the Body of Christ as we lift our hearts together in prayer at 7:00 tonight.

    Love and thanks to all,
    Michelle’s mom

    Reply
  • 25. Sue Cooper  |  July 23, 2006 at 6:35 pm

    Dear Michelle, my husband Ken and I met Mike several times because of our kids’ involvement with Young Life, but I don’t believe we’ve had the privilege of meeting you. We have been praying for you both and reading the blog regularly ever since we learned of Mike’s illness.
    I was very glad to read Mary Stadler’s letter because she said many of the things that I have been thinking. We pray for specific things for Mike, and I wonder “What about Michelle? How is she doing? What does she need specific prayers for?” This is a time for the Christian community to rise up and give you all kinds of support and strength, however, we need to know what you are feeling, what is helpful, and especially what is not helpful. Many people have said on this blog that they cannot imagine what you are feeling and going through. Please tell us. I doubt that many people have gone through any thing even close to the pain and suffering that you have experienced in the last four months. This is a chance for us all to learn how to help and support you, and any others who go through painful experiencs.

    Many years ago when I was first married, we lost our first baby when she died at birth. We had very much looked forward to her birth, and it was a huge shock to us. Because of our faith in God, we were able to accept the fact that God had called her home, and even rejoice in it. The hard part was relating to our friends and family. They really had no idea how to support or help us, at least from an emotional perspective. Most people assumed that we would not want to talk about it, so they said nothing, which was very hurtful. Or they would say that it was a “good” thing because there was something wrong with the baby. That did not help either. We eventually got to the point where we would bring up the subject first thing and explain to people what was helpful and what was not. It made things easier for everybody. My point is that unless you tell us what you need and how to support you emotionally, we won’t really know and may do something that only adds more pain.

    You’re in a very different situation than I was so I cannot begin to guess what you find helpful and what is not.

    We will continue to keep you in our prayers! Thanks for listening to my story. I hope we can meet you someday soon!
    Sue

    Reply
  • 26. Clay  |  July 23, 2006 at 6:46 pm

    Still in my prayers…Hang in there, Michelle. Your faith is nothing short of incredible and inspires me and so many others each day.

    Reply

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